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Hands

My hands are invisible. A bit like the car we drive that everyone seems to want to crash into, but in a different way let me explain: I wash my hands when I have been to the toilet, not in an obsessive compulsive way just a healthy need to reduce bacteria and viral transfer way. And almost every time I use the dryers (unless they are a switch version I can't get the damn thing to work! It works for a few seconds after I have waved and wiped my hands furiously underneath the hand dryer then I don't look like an idiot for too long then it cuts out long before my hands are dry and it no longer works or it seems to cut in and out no matter how near or far my hands are away from the dryer.

This is not an isolated incident; everywhere that has one of these evil things installed that doesn't sense your hands beneath itself doesn't work for me. Am I alone and if not then why do you have invisible hands too you feels such an idiot vainly attempting to wave your hands under a non-existent stream of air. When I discovered I had invisible hands did I sit on them? No. I thought of all the possible uses of this particular gift. I'm afraid the best I could come up with is a common or garden thief. I would steal all the motion sensitive hand dryers if I thought it would do any good. They would just replace them with the same thing. Maybe I should just accept that I have invisible hands and waggle them fruitlessly underneath an inanimate object. If you come up with a better plan you might want to let me know I should accept by now that I look an idiot and drying your hands in this way might be a normal act for an idiot like me.

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